This secret handshake is:
Don't reply to emails.
Yep, dont reply. they are asking you a questions or giving you information.
You get to choose what to do with that information.
Just because someone throws a ball at you, you don't have to catch it.
When you reply to an email, it creates another email. Emails spawn into more emails and more work .
By sending, you're putting a body of thought and energy into the world. And by doing that, that energy goes to someone else within takes that energy and more often than not brings that energy right back to you to deal with.
My gut reaction would be, what would people think of me? will i be left out or left behind?
It may not be possible all the time, but what if it works some of the time?
BEFORE you reply to an email, ask yourself two questions
When I became the observer and watcher, I saw that (1) things did resolve with other peoples' input and/or (2) others' opinions informed my own, so i could weigh in with a more intelligent, thoughtful reply.
Also when other people don't reply either, I didn't respect them any less.
But when I calm down and not get into Reply Mode, I see the bigger picture.
Getting started:
Start with not replying to group emails that don't specifically ask for your opinion. Rarely, rarely, am I directly asked in a group email. but I used to reply first to a group email to "knock it out" and "put my opinion in the mix"
As an "Achiever", you will have to sit with the discomfort of not replying to the email.
But then over time, you begin to reframe the importance of emails, "inbox zero", and can more holistically stay connected to other people's true needs and not your own priorities.
It's been absolutely marvelous.
Best of luck secret handshakers.
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